112 Chapter 4 Patients and coaches discussed similarities and common interests, which seemed to have affected the development of a social bond. For example, having the same age helped dyads to interact and to participate in activities. "…In terms of age, of course that has its advantages. If I were much younger it would be much more difficult for him. He understands what time I have lived in, I understand what he has gone through over the years. [How] the world works, how we view the world. That's also shaped by the 70s and 80s that we experienced together." – coach 025. Sharing the same interests and cultural background sometimes helped to connect. However, one coach noticed that having the same ethnicity could also be confronting. In addition, the fact that patients and coaches did not share the same interests or backgrounds was considered interesting and inspiring by some patients. Some patients described a pleasant relationship even though having nothing in common with their coach. Furthermore, the informal character of the contact between dyads was emphasized. Some patients appreciated the contact with their coach because they were not professionals. Therefore, the contact was more casual, without obligations and protocols. "He is more of a confidant compared to ... the institution, with the one from [name formal care institution]. […] So then you can't talk to people [from the informal care institute] too easily like that. [...] Because I have 25 years of experience with that and so on. So you have to settle all the time and so on […]. [The contact with the coach is] yes more open, maybe because I am outside with him […]. Then you can have a drink somewhere or talk about something and so. It is not under pressure at all, but with that staff then you know in advance ... but you get used to not saying too much, no wrong things. Because they will report everything about you. But with [name coach] I don't have that. I can't say wrong things to him." – patient 010. At the same time, several coaches wondered whether patients understood the difference between coaches in FNC and professionals. Some coaches had the impression that patients felt forced to participate, or that patients assumed they were obliged to participate. Therefore, patients sometimes needed time to discover what the contact with their coach represented.
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